It's Joe's first day back at school tomorrow so for want of anything better to do he's spending the morning playing Cast Away Island on my laptop.
Brian: Joe, you promised you weren't going to leave your homework till the last day of the holidays.
Brian: You've got to type up that interview from your 'work placement', do a self-portrait and wasn't there a load of drama stuff to do as well?
Joe: It's all under control.
Brian: And weren't you supposed to have read that book for English?
Joe: Don't stress.
Brian: But you haven't done any of it.
Joe: I've done a lot more than anyone else in my class.
Brian: How can that be?
Brian: How can they have done less than nothing?
Joe: Don't worry! It's cas.
My phone makes the text noise and there's an incoming email bleep. Portland Place School: Reminder. Year 11 Work Experience presentations due this Friday 2nd September periods 4 & 5 in the GPS Hall. Make sure they are prepared!
Me: You have to do a PRESENTATION about your Work Placement. On Friday!
Me: Joe? Joe!
Joe: What the ***k is a PRESENTATION? Wait!
(gets on Facebook).....
5 minutes later.
Joe: basically, no-one is gunna do the presentation shit.
Me: Well why did school send that text then? Get off that thing and get on with some work. Now!
Joe: Oh, by the way, I need new school shoes for tomorrow. The soles come off the others. And trousers.
Me: Blimey Joe! Couldn't you have told me before.
Joe: Can you cut my hair? and wash that grey hoodie by the morning? Oh, and I can't get this earring out. I think it's rusted in. Daddy will have to cut it with those tong things.
Joe: Yeah, them. And I need to get Phoebe a birthday present.
Me: When's her birthday?
Joe: Friday. Saturday. No Sunday. Hang on. Does October come after September.
Joe: What, straight after?
Joe: No, it's Friday.
.... and so Joe and I head off to Angel for school uniform while Brian prepares a presentation, draws a portrait, does some drama and reads a book.
Some hours later....
Brian. We're home. Brian! Brian!