"I know. I'm dreading it. My heart sank when they said 'London' not 'Paris'. God knows how they'll get everything ready in time. Thames Water have dug up half the roads in London, the tubes and buses are already jam-packed, it's a nightmare, the place will grind to a halt, how will people get to work? They're making these special VIP routes so the athletes and all the dignitaries can be limo-ed through Hackney at top speed - so they don't have time to look out the window. Haha! What a cheek. Have they finished the Olympic village yet? I hate that Anish Kapoor thing. They've made special extra long beds for the basketball players but I couldn't sleep in a room with those curtains. Who designs these things? London's going to be heaving with tourists, wandering around lost. Ugh! I won't be able to watch the opening ceremony - too embarrassing. I won't switch the telly on. We'll be a laughing stock. It's not like I'll even be able to escape to Corfu or somewhere, not with Ed being in Singin' in the Rain every other night."