Me. Don’t you have homework?
Ed. I’m so bored.
Me. Don’t mope about – it’s Christmas.
Ed. I’m so fed up. None of my friends are allowed to come into town and watch the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. It’s not fair. I don’t know what’s the matter with some people’s parents – we’re not babies.
Me. Well I’m not really surprised Ed. It’s crazy in town on New Year's Eve and you’re only 13. I’m not very happy with the idea myself. Daddy doesn’t want you to go either.
Ed. Nothing bad is going to happen at Somerset House for God’s sake.
Joe. It’ll be full of drunken crack heads.
Ed. Shut up. No it won’t.
Me. Anyway, Mathew’s mother has offered to go with you and then hide somewhere out of sight while you go ice-skating. I thought that was incredibly kind of her, especially on New year’s Eve.
Ed. She’s got nothing else to do and we’re not two year-olds.
Me. She said something in her text about ‘not wanting a repeat of what happened last time.’ Was that when one of you was sick in that tent? And she had to drive out to Essex in the middle of the night?
Ed. That was ages ago.
Me. Anyway, I don’t think any parents are going to agree to you heading into town without an adult. It’s too dangerous.
And how would you get home?
Joe. Tubes run all night on NYE – and they’re free.
Joe. Yeah, you don’t even need an Oyster. Last year we ran in and out of Golders Green station like a million times.
Me. That doesn’t sound like a very good idea to me…
Brian. Joe, what are your plans for tomorrow night?
Joe. Me? BARE parties like. Trust.
Ed. It’s not fair. Everyone’s status on Facebook is ‘can’t wait for tomorrow night, smiley face’.
Me. That doesn’t mean anything. People just make out they’re doing something exciting. I bet there all staying in with their mums and dads.
Ed. They’re NOT.
Me. Come to Emma’s with us then.
Ed. No, there’ll just be adults.
Me. Why don’t you ask a few friends round here for a sleep over.
Ed. That’s dead.
Me. Well I don’t know then but cheer up, you’ll be back at school next week…. Ed! Ryan’s on the phone….
Ed. Take me to Liverpool Street. I’m going to Chemsford.