Art Curator

Brian's just unveiled his latest portrait of Joe that he's been working on all weekend...

... and it's my job to find somewhere to hide hang it.

Cool Sculpture

An abundance of free sculpting material enticed the artists of Stoke Newington out early this morning...

Joe!!? does Ian's mum mind seeing this every time she looks out of her kitchen window?

Christmas 2012

Oh the shame! The shame of a discarded Christmas tree wedged into a garden recycling bin at the front of the house - in February. God knows what the neighbours think. Well, they must think that we've only just got round to taking the tree down, that we love Christmas so much or that we're so slothful we haven't got round to clearing the house of all that Christmassy paraphernalia, that we still have a sad poinsettia wrapped in tinsel on top of the telly and the long-vacated-of-chocolate advent calendars kicking around the floor being licked by the dogs.

So, I'd to make it quite clear that that tree out there is NOT a left-over from Christmas past - the Christmas decs are lucky if they make it through through to Twelfth Night in this house - that tree out there, waiting to be carted off to the municipal Christmas tree compost heap is from Christmas future. Yep, we've had our very first Christmas shoot of the year, breaking the previous record of Christmas in early May by a whopping three months.
Ooo, how do they know what's going to be 'in' for Christmas 2012 so early in the year I wondered - surprised and alarmed that my appetite for Christmas was whetted again so soon after the excesses of December. What happened here has to remain top-secret but Christmasworld, the trade-only fair held in the vast Frankfurt exhibition hall took place a week ago: all the colours, concepts and creations for Christmas 2012 are exhibited there and everything's been decided. Christmas 2012 is going to be all about...

 ... one of these colours, with maybe a bit of this...

and some of this...

I'm feeling Christmassy already AND IT'S SNOWING!!!

School. Done.

Me and the whippets absolutely froze sat outside in the Volvo for over an hour. Capri mutated into an invertebrate whippet and managed fit herself into the slither of space between the steering wheel and my lap for warmth while Enzo tried to keep distracted from the cold by glaring through the car window at a bunch of pigeons attacking a loaf of bread.

Eventually Brian and Joe trudged out of the art college building. Brian was laden down with two bulging backpacks full of sketchbooks to which Joe had tied a couple of plastic portfolios thus leaving his arms free to grapple with the 8 foot roll of paper. Joe walked ahead clutching what looked like a post-it note.

Me: "How did it go?"

Joe: "Good - I think - they gave me this."

Me: "What is it?"

Joe: "Dunno, they’ve ticked un-con-dit-ion-al offer, whatever that means"

Me: "Unconditional offer!! That means…, that means they really like you…. umm... that means that you, that you… that you get a place as long as you get all your GCSEs grade A – C, including Maths and English, like it said on the application form, DOESN’T IT BRIAN."

Brian: "Yes, that's right mother."

Joe: "Cool."

Some hours later…

Joe: "Hey John,  I got an un-con… Mummy! What’s it called again?"

Me: whispers "Unconditional offer."

John: "What! He got an unconditional offer?!"

Me: "Yes, that means he just needs to get at least five GCSEs and he’s in."

John: "No it doesn’t! Joe man! it means you don’t have to pass any GCSEs at all. You can fail them all and they’ll still give you a place – dimwit."

Joe: "Bless. Does that mean I don't have to go into school ever again?"

Me: "Thanks for that John."

Cake Diet

The Ritz, where I went for afternoon tea on Monday.

It seems that diets whereby you alternate a protein day with a carbohydrate day or a fruit-only day are currently all the rage. I've been looking at the Dukan diet which is based on these principles - as much low fat protein as you can eat but nothing else: keep it up for a few days and you can gorge yourself on as much salad as you like. As far as I can tell as long as you keep switching from one food group to another you should be fine. Simple! here we go then. Monday I ate only food from the cake group - sones with jam and clotted cream, a tiny lemon meringue pie, a slice of orange drizzle cake, raspberry torte, chocolate gateau, some caramel thing, a cream slice... it was all going so well until I blew it though with that glass of Champagne. Damn. 

Even the dog won't look at me...

I've decided to be brave and just 'go with' the new fringe. I know you're all dying to see it so here's a pic we took in the park at the weekend: there's me in the middle, embracing the Blackadder look with Elizabethan ruff and cloak. To make matters worse we have a celebrity hairdresser here today shooting an advert - he can't look me in the eye, only in the fringe. Bloody hell. 

Bad Hair Weekend

I had plans for this weekend. I thought we could try out the new tapas bar on Newington Green this evening. Then tomorrow I was going to look at a house my sister likes the look of in Reigate.  Dinner here with Emma and Toby Saturday night and Sunday - ballet class followed by lunch in Covent Garden. As it turns out I’ll be staying in: I’ve had a fringe cut.

I said kinda like this please…

and NOT like this...

But it ended up like this...

:(