The Voice

''You have reached your destination. You have reached your destination. You have reached your destination.'

Me: No we haven’t! We haven’t left home! I haven’t even started the engine. What’s she talking about?!

Ed: Calm down. It’s just telling you how loud the volume is. Do you want it this loud?

'You have reached your destination.'

Ed: Or this loud?

'You have reached your destination.'

Ed: Or this…

Me: Stop. That’s fine. Leave it like that. That’ll do.

Ed: You know your way to the theatre anyway. We don’t need this. Let’s have the radio on. I’m quite nervous.

Me: It might tell us a new, better, more interesting, FASTER route. That’s what it’s for isn’t it? We don’t want to be late for your first show.

Switch the off the radio, I can’t hear what she’s saying. Right type in our destination.

Ed: Shouldn’t we have done this before we set off?

Me: Nah. Type in Palace Theatre.

Ed: It’s asking me which city.

Me: Well type in London then. Duh.

Ed: It’s gone onto Log..ro..no.

Me: Where the ****s that? Give it to me. No, no, no, not London Ontario. What’s the matter with it? Stupid thing.

Ed: Mummy, mummy, the lights are green.

Me: Here we go… Palace, Palace, no not Palace of Versailles, Palace Theatre… Syracuse. Palace Theatre London. Take it. Take it quickly I’m driving. Press done. There we are.

Ed: Now what do I do with it?

Me: Stick it on the windscreen.

'When safe to do so turn around. When safe to do so turn around.'

Me: I’m not doing that. She wants me to go through Angel.

Ed: You don’t have to whisper. It can’t hear you.

Me: Sorry, sorry, I know that’s probably the most direct route but it’s always a bit busy. I’m not ignoring you but I’ve done this route a thousand times.

Ed: It’s a computer.