Special Delivery

Eeek! this big brown envelope must be my JLS Top of the Pops Special!! Hopefully ordering a teen mag on line has drastically readjusted my 'profile' and I won't be getting any more of those pesky "Fifty-two year-old mum of three loses 10 kilos of belly fat" pop-ups. Right, let's go somewhere private, where I'll be left in peace for five minutes while I open it. Ooo, there they all are on the cover. Squeal! Let's have a quick flick through... Blimey! they're on every page. Hey, nice one of them larking about in the beaded curtains... Ahh, there's Marvin on the red sofa balancing a cup-cake on his head - sweet but not what I'm looking for. Ha! here's Aston in the swinging chair! brilliant! Wow! this life-size poster will come in handy - I'll look at it properly later. Now, where is it? Not here, not here. Aww, don't they look lovely in their suits? Not on that page... Not on this page... What's this? "Who's your  love match? Take our test to find out which of the four fitties is for you"...  I haven't got time for that...well not now anyway. Where IS it? All these pages and pages of interviews... "Aston, do you always carry a tissue?" Aston. "No I don't, but I do carry anti-bacterial wipes." Interesting, but not what I'm looking for right now. Where the HELL is it?! Don't tell me they didn't use that shot in the end. Cute... here they are having tea, here they are having Nando's, here they are having a group hug. Bloody hell! WHERE IS IT? Yes, yes, YES!!! FOUND IT!

OMG! AMAZING! Pass me a cigarette.