ME. What?
JOE. Go Sainsbury, get shoppin, get £20 off COD.
ME. What?
JOE (Exasperated). GO SAINSBURY, right? SPEND THIRTY POUND, on food an' shit, GET TWENTY POUND OFF CALL OF DUTY MODERN WARFARE FREE. It's a deal.
ME. What? It's free?
JOE. Not FREE. FREE.
ME. Modern Warfare THree, THREE. Speak properly Joe. Well I don't know about that. You've done no school work, you've got GCSEs coming up. I don't want you sat in front of that thing night after night. I know what it'll be like Joe...
JOE. Don't worry, it's cajj* I swear. I'm goin art club after school tomorrow.
ME. So?
JOE. See, I'm goin art club and I'm goin DT after school as well. It's all under control. Chill.
ME. I don't know....
Some hours later we enter Sainsbury's Islington. Joe runs off up an aisle.
ME. Not up there, that's yogurts and cheese. DVDs and things are over there.
Joe scoots off, then scoots back.
JOE. It says you have to do your shoppin, pay and then go help desk.
BRIAN. I'll go and check they've got some before we get a basket of crap.
Joe hops up and down while I peruse the magazine section and mentally tot up the price of Vogue, Elle Deco, Living etc and Tatler to see if it comes to thirty quid. Brian returns.
BRIAN. Yeah, they've got piles of them.
ME. Look, there's Nuts up there. Reach it down, we might be in it.
Brian gets a copy down and we flick through it.
JOE. You're embarrassing me.
ME. Shhh... look there's our house!
BRIAN. Look at them two on our bed. What's that she's got in her hand?
ME. I Think it's a riding crop.
JOE. HURRY UP.
BRIAN. Eh, John should have been an assistant that day. Jesus! Lets get it shall we. Here Joe carry this.
JOE. This is so embarrassing. Can we hurry up please.
ME. We're just having a browse. Ooo look there's litre bottles of Gordon's for seventeen quid. That's good. We could get them for the party.
JOE. Get two of them then and we're done. Bang, let's go.
ME. I think we should get four.
JOE(laughs). Have you seen your basket? Four wedge bottles of gin and a copy of Nuts.
We hurry to the check out and hope the girl doesn't think there's anything unusual about our shopping.
BRIAN. We'd like to purchase Call Of Duty Volume Three as well please.
JOE. CODfree.
CHECKOUT GIRL. That's the way to spend the thirty quid. Booze 'n' porn (laughs hysterically).
* cajj - urban slang for casual ie. OK
JOE. That was the best shop ever.
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