Ed Knocks Spots off Nijinsky

Text from Ed: Goin Primark after school with Mimi to get outfit for Max's party.
Me: Fine. You got money then? xx
Ed: Yeah it's 7.99
Me: Great :) x


When I get home from Pilates at 8.30 Ed is snuggled up on the sofa wearing the cutest all-in-one cow costume. Made from soft white fleece printed with irregular pale grey splodges, it has a hood with ears and cosy little booties for feet. 
"Ed! you look adorable in that baby-gro!" 
"It's NOT a baby-gro, it's a onesie." he replies, not taking his eyes off Gears of War on the Xbox.
"Well its lovely! Did you get anything to wear to Max's party?"
"Yeah, this."
"What, you're wearing that baby-gro to the party?"
"ONESIE" The cute baby cow machine guns the head off one of the Locust Horde.
"You're wearing that onesie to the party?"
"Yeah, I'm going as Dopey. I told you I was going as Dopey. Don't you remember anything? Olivia is going as Snow White and I'm going as Dopey."
"But it's a cow costume."
"You've got to dye it mauve - by tomorrow."
"Ed, that fabric won't dye. It's the wrong kind of material. It has to be cotton and that's.... well, I don't know what that is but it won't work."
"Yes it will. Try it."
"It won't. I dyed loads of fabric when I was at college and that man-made stuff never dyes properly."
"Well that was about fifty years ago. They'll have invented something new by now." 
Brian wanders in with another glass of wine.
"I rather like it as it is. Reminds me of Nijinsky in Diaghilev's production of the ballet L'Apres-Midi d'un Faune by Debussy."
Ed's scowl deepens.